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Praying together is a lost practice in many modern marriages. Sure there’s the “Bless this food to our bodies”, but when was the last time you sat down to pray with your spouse outside of this perfunctory blessing?

Today we’ll discuss three main reasons that praying together is so important.

Praying together…

1. builds us up as individuals
2. brings us closer as a couple
3. keeps us centered on God

Why Praying Together is So Important for Your Marriage

Praying Together Builds Us Up

We are called as Christians to build each other up, and prayer is one of the most powerful ways to do that. Not only praying for each other but praying with each other. There is something so special about hearing the one you love lift their voice to heaven.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

That’s why prayer requests is one of my favorite parts of attending small group. How wonderful is it to hear and be heard when it comes to the things that are on your heart?

As my husband and I have been going through IVF, we’ve brought some heavy prayer requests to our small group. We’ve had many tearful moments of grief and doubt. But when we hear our friends – our brothers and sisters in Christ – join with us in these struggles through prayer, it builds up our individual faith as well.

I am always so encouraged to hear another voice bringing my requests before God. It’s almost like it makes it more real. Like praying aloud together validates that God is listening. It reminds me that praying is always a worthy use of my time.

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Prayer Brings Us Closer to Each Other

Praying together brings us closer to God, which ultimately brings us closer to each other. 

Paul encourages believers over and over again to pray with him and for him. He knows that prayer is as much a community activity as it is a personal and private activity.

“I urge you, brothers and sisters, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me. Pray that I may be kept safe from the unbelievers in Judea and that the contribution I take to Jerusalem may be favorably received by the Lord’s people there, so that I may come to you with joy, by God’s will, and in your company be refreshed. The God of peace be with you all. Amen.

Romans 15:30-33

Yes – individual prayer matters a ton. But praying with and for your partner – out loud together – also bolsters your spiritual and marital health.

James prompts us further not only to pray for each other but also to confess to each other (James 5:16). He claims that praying together is powerful and healing. I’m pretty sure that means it’s good for your marriage too.

You might even say those who pray together, stay together. 😉

Prayer keeps us unified as a team in marriage. Since our relationships model the unity of Christ and His church, isn’t it fitting that we pray often together – just as Jesus did for us?

Praying Together Keeps Us Focused on God

God gave us this amazing, fulfilling, meaningful gift of marriage in the first place – a beautiful example of His love for us. Praying together reminds us that Christ is an integral part of a successful marriage.

There’s a common phrase that goes around about marital conflict: it isn’t me vs you – it’s us vs the problem. God should be part of that “us” because He is ultimately the leader in both our lives and our marriages.

We need to ask God to show up in our marriages – and then we need to expect that He’ll do awesome things.

In my own marriage, I’ve seen God show up in incredible ways. The patience, love, and respect Caleb and I have for each other comes from our foundation as believers.

I don’t worry about Caleb leaving me. I don’t worry about conflicts that come up. I don’t worry because I know that God has provided a perfectly imperfect partner for us each to learn from and with as we grow.

Prayer keeps me focused on those truths. Praying together with Caleb reminds me that God is the reason we’ve made it through so much. Praying out loud with each other brings us a sense of peace and intimacy – another gift we have to be grateful for.

God is with us whenever two or more are gathered in his name (Matthew 18:19-20). So when you’re with your partner – God is there too! He is the glue that holds us all together, the reason that we can have peace, unity, and fulfillment in our marriage relationships.

So how do we put this into practice?

Here are 3 simple ways to make praying together a more regular part of your spiritual life and your marriage.

1. Pray together before bed – share one thing you’re thankful for, one thing you’re hoping for, and one thing you’re struggling with.
2. Pray together before meals – thank God for the food but also for your spouse, your relationship, or other ways God has provided for you.
3. Keep a running list of prayer requests somewhere you’ll both see it – a shared note on your phone, sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, or your refrigerator door.

Other resources to get you started:

• Guided Prayers for the Anxious Heart ebook by Susannah Judd (hey – that’s me! 😉)
• Beloved Dust by Kyle Strobel and Jamin Goggin
• Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

Do you pray regularly with your spouse? If you don’t, what are some steps you’ll take to build that practice? 👇 Tell me about it in the comments below! 👇